


The Last Thing He Remembered

by M_E_Lover



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Abduction, Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Carnage - Freeform, Delusions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Gore, Hallucinations, Hallucinogens, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Scars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2018-12-22 00:08:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11955603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_E_Lover/pseuds/M_E_Lover
Summary: John's past comes back to haunt him in a distressing way, revealing that his former CIA partner isn't dead after all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zaniida](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaniida/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Zaniida! I hope you enjoy your present today and in the time to come as it progresses to its conclusion.
> 
> My thanks as always to oddgit for the beta work!

When John opened his eyes, he was lying in a crumpled heap on the cold filthy cement outside the rear entrance to the library. 

His head ached like a bitch from the blow of whatever he was rendered unconscious by. As he sat up dazed and looked around, it all came back to him and panic began to take hold. 

The last thing he remembered was walking toward Harold in the alleyway. They were approaching each other from opposite directions and as they got closer to one another... John noticed three well-dressed men round the corner of the building and knew instantly they were there to take his partner.

Harold was oblivious to their presence at first but as he maintained eye contact with John and saw the look of alarm arise on John’s face... he knew something was wrong.

They rushed to get to Harold before he had a chance to prepare himself and John started to run to his aid but he felt the biting sting of a blunt object come crashing down on his head knocking him senseless for a few seconds.

All he could do was watch on, stunned, and unable to move as the men surrounded his partner. Just before he passed out, he watched in distress as two of them restrained Harold’s arms while the third stuck a needle in Harold’s neck.

As he slowly lost consciousness he watched Harold struggle uselessly against his captors before he went limp and lost consciousness as well.

John had to move but was still unsteady on his feet and when he touched the side of his head, he came away with blood on his fingers. 

He couldn’t worry about that now. 

He got up as fast as he could and staggered to the spot that they had taken his partner to look for anything that might give him any clues. There was nothing… no sign of anything. John was wracking his brain for details but his brain was still trying to process the situation.

He turned and held onto the wall for support as he made his way to the door of the library sluggishly. When he got there he noticed the note that was stuck to the door.

“Hi there, lover boy. If you want your boss back in one piece... I suggest you make sure your phone is charged and wait for my call. You and I have unfinished business. Sorry about your head but at least I didn’t kill you. Talk to you soon.”

As he let himself in the door, it took a minute to figure out who this might be. He gingerly walked up the stairs and it dawned on him. 

Kara Stanton. 

It had to be her. No one else had ever called him lover boy before and the knowledge made him feel sick to his stomach.

His former CIA partner was as ruthless as they came and he knew that Harold would be in terrible danger with her having reigns on him. 

Kara always liked the physical and psychological extraction techniques of their job and John knew that with her predilection for torture and Harold’s stubbornness… his partner was in deep trouble. 

#

The first time Harold came to, he was pressed in between two large men in the back seat of a car. He could see in the periphery of his vision that they were well dressed and seemed very business-like. 

He raised his head and focused on the two people in the front seat. He felt a shudder of dread run through him as soon as he saw her. 

Kara Stanton was enough to put fear into anyone who knew her. She was merciless and Harold had always suspected that she was at least borderline psychotic.

When she turned towards him from the passenger seat and saw that he was awake, she became angry. “Can’t you sons a bitches get anything right?” She spat at the men. “Give him another dose!”

The next thing Harold knew he was stuck in the neck for the second time and faded back into unconsciousness.

#

John was getting more aggravated by the minute.

Kara held all the cards and he was chomping at the bit to hear from her. He couldn’t figure out what she would want from him and it ate at him every minute that trudged on. 

He didn’t bother trying to figure out how she found him; she was like him after all and if the roles were reversed... he didn’t think he would have had much of a problem finding her if he needed to.

Although he was pretty surprised, he wasn’t shocked to find that she was still alive and kicking. He was supposed to be dead too yet he was still breathing. 

What he couldn't parse was what she would want from him? They had both been betrayed by their own government, what did that have to do with him? Surely Kara wouldn’t believe that he had anything to do with it; he was marked for death the same as she was. 

There was no point trying to figure it out, all he could do was sit and wait. 

He sat at Finch’s computer chair while he waited impatiently for his phone to ring and held an ice pack to the bump on his head. He was getting nervous as he thought about how unstable she was. 

Kara usually liked to be the one to dole out the pain in their interrogations and he could only hope that she wasn’t going to harm Harold in any way before he could find out what she wanted.

#

“Hey… wake up.” Harold slowly opened his eyes. He shook his head, trying to release the cobwebs from his drowsy brain and winced at the sudden movement. 

He looked around the room. He was in a very large, open, hotel suite, sitting in a plush armchair. Kara sat across from him in her own chair while her goons were sitting at a table behind her in the background playing cards. Harold wasn’t tied up or restrained in any way and he absently wondered why. 

“So, I’m sure you have all kinds of questions for me don’t you Mister Finch… or may I call you... Harold?” Kara sat forward in her chair and smiled deviously at him. “I’m sure you know who I am, what would you like to know from me?”

Harold was hesitant to answer her. He wasn’t sure what she had in mind but knowing what he did, he was going to be cautious in his reply. He could feel her mood change in an instant and before he had a chance to formulate a response she got up suddenly and backhanded him hard across the face.

He cried out as the force of the unexpected blow propelled his head sideways, forcing the pins in his neck to twist violently at an angle they weren’t designed for. He gasped as he struggled to get air back in his lungs.

“You’ll find that I’m not a very patient woman, Harold,” she began as she stood over him. “I don’t like to be kept waiting. When I ask you a question... I expect an answer immediately. Do you understand me?” she leaned forward so that Harold was forced to breathe the same air as the violent former operative and she took him by the chin, forcing his face up and forward to meet her eyes.

“Do you get me, Harold?” she asked again angrily.

“Yes… yes, I understand,” He replied quickly, panting through the pain.

“Good, that’s very good. See, you’re learning already.” Kara let go of him and sat back in her chair. she smiled at Harold menacingly. “So, what would you like to know, Harold?” 

“What do you want with John?” he asked tentatively as he got his breathing under control.

“Ah, now that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?” She grinned and stared at him before she went on.

Harold felt himself getting extremely nervous as he looked back at his captor. He saw in her eyes that she was as unhinged in person as he expected her to be and that didn’t bode well for John or for himself.

“What I want from John is compliance,” she stated. “I need him for a few things. To get his submission, I’m going to have to use you as leverage.” she smiled at him and he waited nervously for her to continue.

“But the thing is Harold… I’m going to have to use you a little bit first. I’m going to have to hurt John some before he gives himself over to me.” She grinned, “And to hurt him, I’m afraid I’m going to have to hurt you.” she waited patiently this time for Harold to speak.

“Why do you want hurt John…? He’s done nothing to you,” he asked inquisitively.

“Are you kidding me!?” she replied angrily and stood up. “He left me in Ordos to die! How would that make you feel Harold?” She paced back and forth irritably.

“He had the same orders as you, Miss Stanton,” Harold replied. “What makes you feel differently about that fact more than he does?”

She stopped and glared down at him. “John has always been so much more forgiving than I’ve ever been. That’s the reason that our jobs would have been his undoing. It would have killed him eventually if he'd kept going with it.” She sat back down.

Harold nodded in understanding. “You’re right Miss Stanton. John was never and could never have been the cold blooded killer you became.” 

Kara smiled at him and pulled a cell phone out of her pocket and handed it to Harold. He took it and saw that it was his phone and held it in his hand.

“Call him, Harold,” she ordered.

Harold looked at the phone for a few seconds and shook his head. “No, Miss Stanton, I will not aid you in bringing about my partner’s downfall.”

A smile slowly crept onto Kara’s face, “I was hoping you’d say that.” She beamed.


	2. Chapter 2

John’s patience was wearing thin. It had been over an hour since Harold had been taken and he couldn’t fight the dread that was finding its way into his heart and thoughts.

He’d seen what horrors Kara was capable of doing to people without a second thought or a care in the world for the fear and pain she was inflicting upon them. 

She fed on the terror she imposed on her subjects and it made him extremely nervous for Harold’s well-being. Harold was as stubborn as they come and John knew that Kara wouldn’t put up with it for long. She would do something to him soon if she hadn’t already and John shuddered at the thought.

Suddenly he thought about it, Harold’s phone! Why hadn’t he thought about tracking the phone sooner? He was kicking himself at the time that had been lost by his oversight.

He pulled the keyboard over and entered the necessary information into the system and waited for a link. None found. 

He should have known she would have disabled the tracking device straight away… it’s what he would have done. He took a breath and sat back in the chair and stared blankly at the monitor.

He knew that all he could do for the moment was wait. 

He dialed Shaw. “Yeah what is it Reese?” she answered groggily. 

“Kara... She has Finch,” he stated.

“Where are you?” Shaw was wide awake now. When it came to her team mates, there was no one that would stand in her way to help any one of them.

“I’m at the library. I need you to get a hold of Lionel and Root and wait for my call.” 

“You got it, how long has it been?” she asked irritably. 

She knew as well as Harold and John did how dangerous Kara Stanton was. She had heard horror stories about the trail of blood and death she left in her wake and she was now worried for Finch as well.

“Over an hour, I’m waiting for her to contact me,” John replied anxiously.

“You tried to track his phone I assume?” Shaw asked.

“Yes, she’s disabled the GPS somehow.”

“Of course,” Shaw replied, “she knows her shit.”

“You don’t have to remind me of that,” John replied, aggravated. “Just get the team together and wait for my call.”

“I’m on it.” Shaw hung up the phone and immediately called Root and Fusco and had them come to her apartment to wait for John’s call.

#

“Now then Harold…” Kara began, “What’s going to happen is…” She stood up and took the phone from his hand, “Get over here boys…” she called to her men then turned back towards him, “I guess I’m going to have to give you a little incentive to cooperate with me.”

Harold swallowed hard when Kara went past his chair to a table behind him that contained several syringes with different contents in each.

She came back around him and her men stood on either side and behind Harold’s chair to forestall any attempt at escape or trouble from him.

 

She held up the needle to look at the liquid contained in it and so that Harold could see what was going to happen. He was terrified and broke out into a sweat.

“I’ll need you to remove your jacket,” she stated and looked at him calmly.

He didn’t move fast enough for her liking and she motioned to one of the men who then pushed him forward in the chair and roughly pulled the garment off of him.

He gasped as the manhandling pushed against the metal in his frame painfully.

“I told you once already Harold, I don’t like to wait, it’s your own fault,” she grinned.

“Now the tie,” she ordered.

Harold’s hands came up to loosen and remove his tie almost immediately and he winced at the stabbing pain that was left in his neck from the rough treatment of her employee.

He held the silk neck piece in his hands and waited nervously for the next instruction.

“Good boy…” she grinned, “Now roll up your sleeves,” she ordered further.

Harold’s mouth started to go dry. He knew that whatever was in the syringe wasn’t going to be a picnic and he found himself starting to tremble slightly. He had always hated needles and he couldn’t bring himself to comply with her instruction.

She motioned again for her man to get involved and he and the man on the other side of Harold quickly unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt and pulled them roughly up to his biceps, uncovering the bend at his elbows.

Harold couldn’t think properly as once again his body was mistreated and handled cruelly. 

Pain shot through his spine from top to bottom as they practically pulled his arms off from the force of their task.

He panted through the tremors of pain and fear and looked into the eyes of his captor. Kara showed no emotion other than a seemingly pleasurable expression in the slight grin on her face.

“I assure you, Miss Stanton, there is no reason to go through what you’re planning. I will not cause any trouble… I won’t fight or put up any resistance, I swear.” Harold knew it was a long shot but he had to try. Even if it made him feel weak and helpless. 

He felt his heart pounding in his chest and his breathing was getting out of control as she stood over him.

She smiled and nodded, “I know you won’t.”

She looked at her men and they all went into action. The man behind Harold leaned forward and put him in a headlock while the other two men secured his flailing arms firmly against the arms of the chair.

He only struggled for a moment before he resigned himself to give in and relax his aching body. He knew he had no other choice.

Harold closed his eyes and swallowed back his fear when Kara leaned over him with the needle. When he felt the prick in his arm and the warming sensation filling his bloodstream, he took a deep breath and fisted his hands in fearful anticipation of what was to come.

#

“Alright, boys you can get back to your game. He’ll be as tame as a kitten for a while.” Kara sat back in her chair and made herself comfortable while she waited for Harold to open his eyes. 

Harold’s whole body relaxed into the plush cushions of the armchair. He felt boneless and weak while his mind raced with images of corn fields and endless expanses of farm land. 

He was traveling through time and space and everything he saw was moving around him at tremendous speed. He couldn’t focus on any one thing until finally, his consciousness stopped dead in its tracks. 

Harold was now sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of his childhood home. He felt happy as he smelled apple cobbler wafting through the screen of his front door and he listened in contentment to his father whistling to himself inside the house. 

He was home and he was joyful and at peace. 

As he sat and rocked back and forth on the porch, he looked out into the newly planted field of corn to the scarecrow that faced the house. He smiled as a crow approached and landed on the arm of the figure. He watched it happily as the black bird groomed its feathers intently.

Then he heard a scuffling sound emanating from inside and tried to rise from the chair to check on his father. 

He found that he couldn’t move and struggled uselessly to stand up as the noises from inside began to get louder. He began to panic and suddenly something brought his attention back to the corn field and the scarecrow.

Harold was now instantly transformed into the figure that hung from the post. He watched his father come out from the house and stood on the porch observing him calmly, drying his hands on a kitchen towel. His father waved at him happily like there was nothing wrong. 

Harold screamed out for his father; the crow now pecked and jabbed painfully at his face as he hung firmly tied onto the wooden post and he screamed and thrashed his head in agony. 

He then watched on in shock as a flock of black birds now blanketed the sky above the house as they approached the field. The crow continued to peck at his face and now his eyes excruciatingly as the flock dipped down and overwhelmed him. 

When Harold opened his eyes gasping and fighting for breath, he saw Kara sitting there observing him. To his utter mortification, he realized that he was whimpering and his face was wet with tears. 

He was in extreme pain as he sat there, feeling almost paralyzed by what he had just experienced and Kara grinned at him.

“Did you have a nice trip?” she asked knowingly. “That was just a small taste of what I have in store for you Harold.”

He couldn’t speak right away as he sat transfixed by the memory of what he experienced assaulting him every time he closed his eyes. 

He tried frantically to slow his breathing down and felt as if he might have a heart attack. He was trembling and sweating profusely and he couldn’t help himself… he begged her, “Please, make it stop…”

Kara leaned forward in her chair and smiled at him. “We’ll see,” she replied coldly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harold tries to convince Kara to do the right thing.

Kara sat back quietly in her chair and watched Harold with absorbed curiosity. She made no more attempt to speak to him as he had finally gotten his breathing back under control and calmed down some from the terrifying hallucination. He was trembling slightly and still in a fair amount of pain. 

His brain was slow to get his thinking back on track but he needed to try to convey to her, his earnest desire to help her diverge from her chosen path of imminent destruction and have a try at living as much of a normal life as possible. 

He’d thought about it in the past when he’d first discovered who she was by way of finding John but then with everything that had happened in the interim, he’d never had the opportunity to reach out to her before now. 

He and John had assumed that she had been killed in Ordos, China... just as John had been thought to have perished as well.

He’d thought that if Kara had just had someone concerned enough and willing to intervene at the time of her downward spiral of playing judge, jury, and executioner in the past and guide her to a beneficial and rewarding life worth living... she might not have taken the path of violence she had. 

He took a deep breath in preparation for his pitch to her and began cautiously.

“I’m not sure what you want with John… but I know that whatever it is, will be unpleasant for everyone involved.” Harold watched her expression avidly for any signs of irritation or anger from her as he continued. 

“If I could help you in some way... if you would just let me assist you, Miss Stanton. All you need do is say the word and I’ll arrange for you to have anything you’d like at your disposal. You could make a new life for yourself; away from the violence and bloodshed that you’ve been involved with in these last years. I have the financial resources you would need and would be happy to help you with that if you’d only allow me too… please.” 

He had tried to make his plea as sincere as he possibly could through the pain and discomfort he was experiencing and hoped for the best. Kara still made no outward signs of impatience or irritation at his heartfelt plea and for a moment he was hopeful. Then she spoke.

“You know Harold... when John and I were doing what we were so good at together, you know, the whole international government spy thing... I think we were a really good team.” Kara smiled at him and he mentally crossed his fingers that his offer would at least be up for consideration before she went on.

“Although John usually left it up to me to play the bad cop, letting me do most of the hands on bloody work, he liked to get his own hands dirty once in a while too.” Her demeanor and vocal inflection shifted abruptly to one of contempt to Harold’s dismay; he then knew instantly that his words had fallen on deaf ears. It didn’t take long for him to determine that it was just as he’d feared. 

Her whole attitude and body language changed and he was now convinced that Kara was a complete psychopath beyond his reach to help her on his own. 

She clearly needed mental help that he could not personally offer and he felt pity for her. The potential that had been lost by her warped sensibilities, the loss of the good she could have accomplished with her life was a very sad reality and Harold found himself feeling terrible about it momentarily.

Then she stood up and circled him slowly, unsettling him as she began to tell him all about her and John’s partnership nostalgically as she went on and on about the past. 

She educated him on horrific torture techniques that were used regularly by them both. Things that he would never have been able to dream up in his own vast imagination in a million years. 

It made Harold’s stomach roil with the shocking descriptions of each of the horrors in finite detail as she happily rattled off each one. He thought she’d never quit and tried to zone out of the seemingly never ending list of atrocities; until she finally slowed her walk around him and drew his attention back up to her.

“So, Harold, just in case you’ve convinced yourself that John is an angel and was forced to follow orders to torture the people we did for information... I can assure you that he took great enjoyment from the wicked acts that we had to perform very much… as a matter of fact,” she stopped in front of him and leaned over and whispered closely in his ear, “He loved it.”

Harold shivered with disgust from the warmth of her breath so close to his ear as the soft, almost intimate inflection she used in her repulsive statement filled him with loathing. It was all he could manage not to pull away from the vile woman.

Kara stood over him and smiled down at Harold’s troubled expression salaciously and ran her hand over his cheek, caressing his face and unnerving him again at her casual, almost pleasurable attitude on the subject. 

“Now that you know some of the gory details about what your little choir boy’s done in the past, how does it make you feel… Harold?” She sat back down languidly, almost teasingly in the way she moved her trim body and got comfortable, crossing her legs flirtatiously. 

Harold was nervous with the way she seemed to be coming on to him now. He was sure it was just a ploy, another act in her arsenal of weapons to be used when required to keep him feeling apprehensive. 

Whatever the case may be, her actions were working. He was being thrown off from clear and rational thinking and he despised her for it but understood that it’s been a part of who she is... for a very long time. 

“Miss Stanton,” he began nervously, “You haven’t told me anything that I didn’t already know.” 

Harold watched her closely as he continued. “I have followed Mister Reese’s path long before even he realizes and I know much more than you or even he thinks I do.” He paused and steadied himself for her reaction. 

He could feel it in the air; she was becoming almost unreadable but he knew it was agitation that he sensed and that she could snap at any time the more he talked. But he felt compelled to go on further with his knowledge of John’s, and in turn, her past.

“I have resources that you can’t imagine Miss Stanton and I know about your and John’s past history. I know about the mission in DC. I know about Phoenix and Seattle. I know about dozens of the jobs that you and John were compelled to do all in the call of duty.” 

Kara sat and listened unaffected by the knowledge that Harold had about top secret missions from the past. Maybe she’d thought that John had poured his heart out to him. Harold didn’t know, but he wasn’t above pleading with the former op and couldn’t give up just yet. 

“Won’t you just please let me help you before you continue on with whatever you have planned?” Harold was winded from the energy he’d put into his plea. On top of the manhandling he’d been put through, the chronic pain was now creeping back into his body without mercy. 

He, for once, wished he’d had some pain killers with him to help manage it if Kara would permit it but he didn’t and he winced at the stabbing sensations in his neck and lower back.

Kara didn’t acknowledge Harold’s offer and instead, she asked, “How about you telling me why you went so far as to hunt John down specifically to help you do what you do?” She shifted in her chair, getting more comfortable while Harold was starting to feel sick to his stomach.

“Does it really matter?” he asked, “Honestly? What difference does it make to you why I chose Mister Reese to help me, Miss Stanton?”

She smiled at him, “It makes a difference to me Harold and I want to know why him…? What makes him so desirable… besides the obvious?” she prodded. “Oh wait, I see… that’s it isn’t it?” She grinned wide and nodded her head in understanding. “You know Harold you can come clean with me; there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality. I don’t judge.” She knew she’d gotten under his skin and enjoyed the look of exasperation on his face.

“It’s not like that I can assure you,” he replied, flustered. “John and I have a business partnership and beyond that, we’re very good friends. I didn’t hire John because he’s attractive; I hired him for his abilities.”

“Are you sure Harold?” she teased him. “Or are you a homophobe? Because I can assure you, Harold… John swings both ways, if you get my meaning and if you have something against boy on boy... you may want to re-think your… partnership.” 

“I’m already aware of John’s sexual predilections and I couldn’t care less Miss Stanton. And I’m far from homophobic so you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Kara had enjoyed getting a rise out of Harold but she was done toying with him for now. It was time to get down to business. 

She stood up casually and again went to the table behind him, the one he couldn’t see that held multiple syringes. She picked one up and came back around to face him.

Harold tried once more to convince her not to go through whatever it was she was planning. “Miss Stanton, please, you’ve done nothing as of yet that you can’t put a stop to. My offer still stands if you’ll only take it… please.” He could feel the sweat trickling down his neck and chest as he stared at the needle she held in her hand.

“Don’t be afraid of this one Harold, it’s just for your pain. I know that you’re in a lot of hurt and discomfort right now and it’s just to help you with that.” She smiled at him, “Trust me if it were anything more than that I’d tell you.”

What else could he do at this point? If he didn’t comply or if he struggled, Kara would just have her men hold him down and do more damage. 

Although he didn’t trust her and thought almost certainly that it was more than just a pain killer in the syringe... he acquiesced and held his arm out to her hesitantly.

She looked him in the eyes and smiled as she leaned over him, quickly found a vein and depressed the plunger, injecting the drug into his bloodstream.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara still has Harold right were she wants him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is late getting posted but I hope it makes you feel a little better Zaniida.

Harold turned his aching neck away and winced at the pinch of the abhorrent needle into his arm; he would never get used to that particular despised and uncomfortable feeling. Kara clearly didn’t have any concern with making it as painless as she could have as it dug into his vein, but now there was far more for him to be concerned with. He instantly began to see and feel his world tipping over on its axis.

“There now, that’s better, isn’t it?” Kara stood up and watched his slack body began to slump almost sideways into the armchair as the drug immediately went to work on his senses and equilibrium. “I told you it was a pain killer.” She smiled down at him as a childlike grin played on his lips.

He found that he couldn’t hold a string of thought together and the pain that had been so terribly obvious before fell as softly into the background as a whisper on a summer breeze. 

He was numb in body but fully awake and his mind tried desperately to latch onto something, anything to anchor him to reality but nothing was within his reach and quickly became ever more distant. 

“Now Harold, we’re going to call John and get his cooperation while you just sit and enjoy the ride.” Kara held Harold’s phone and tried to access the call history. She couldn’t wait for John’s reaction. She wanted him to witness his benevolent boss out of his right mind and at her mercy.

Harold couldn’t move consciously but he vaguely felt his body progressively slanting further into the large chair until he practically laid on his side. He couldn’t care less. He felt ecstatically free from the almost constant pain that he endured every day of his life. 

His eyes gazed around unfocused, while the shapes and colors in the room blended together in a magnificent array of psychedelic imagery. 

He felt... wonderful… yes, wonderful… that was the appropriate word that sprang to his blissed out mind and he fully enjoyed the pleasurable sensation that he could never attain on a normal day.

“Hmm, I could disable the GPS easily enough but what have you done that I can’t find John’s or anyone else’s number in here for that matter?” Kara sat down and set her task to cracking into the call log she needed to contact John. 

Harold’s mind was now fully focused on code as he lay there oblivious to his surroundings. He was finding it immensely enjoyable and satisfying as full lines of information wrote themselves to create the next generation of programming for his beloved machine. The rest of his body still felt numb… practically nonexistent. 

At the moment he was in his element and continued to direct and assign varying strings of data to their allotted positions in his overcharged brain. 

The usually black and white binary numbers were now illuminated in shades of red and blue; they were strikingly vibrant and Harold was delighted and thoroughly content while he orchestrated them in his sub conscious mind.

Kara was becoming impatient and was now upset with her decision to drug her captive. Her initial intent was to show John just how easily his employer was controlled and dominated by her ruthless tactics. She wanted John to see that while he may have left his past of coercion behind him, she was still in fine form and planned to make him see it plainly in the way that she had Harold fully under her control.

It would normally take at least two hours before the drug would start to work its way out of Harold’s system and Kara didn’t feel like waiting that long. A new plan had to be implemented and it was not going to be pretty for Harold.

“Boys get over here.” Her men immediately got up from the table and went over to her.

“Sit him up.” Kara almost felt a hint of pity for what she was about to do to the obliviously happy man. She quickly tamped it down and went to retrieve another syringe.

Harold was once again manhandled and forced to sit upright in the chair.

“Harold… can you understand me?” Kara had come around him and leaned down into his line of sight. She took the glasses from his face to better see his dilated pupils and was a mere few inches away from him. She could see his insensible condition in his eyes and shook her head in irritation. 

“Damn it!” she exclaimed and tossed Harold’s glasses on to the chair behind her, “We’re going to have to do this the hard way.”

Harold’s head felt impossibly heavy to him as it teetered and rolled around on his neck in a way that would normally be intolerable when he was in his right mind, but for now was just awkward as he squinted while he tried and failed to focus on Kara’s face. 

He felt nothing physically and couldn’t comprehend what was being said to him. He smiled innocently at the woman standing before him. He sensed something was off but found it impossible to figure out why she seemed so unhappy when he was thrilled to no end.

“Unfortunately for you, I think more extreme measures are necessary.” Kara injected a needle into Harold’s body for the fourth time since he’d been abducted and introduced the contents into his bloodstream. “I’m sorry Harold… this one is going to be very unpleasant.” 

He watched absently as Kara took the needle out of his arm and rubbed the injection site with a tissue while he looked at the angry red mark growing on his skin and smiled unsuspectingly for a few seconds.

“I guess I jumped the gun a little bit and I don’t feel like waiting around.” She stood over him impatiently and watched for the drug to do its job while her men stood around and waited for his reaction and for their next orders from her.

The smile fell almost immediately from Harold’s face and was replaced with one of confusion and anxiousness.

“You men need to hold him down until he wears himself out. Try not to let him hurt his neck when he struggles.” Kara stood back while her men surrounded him.

At first, he couldn’t figure out what had happened. Wasn’t he, just a moment ago, happy and content? 

Harold felt his blood begin to heat up uncomfortably. Sweat quickly formed on his body once more and began to trickle down his face and neck, while his body saturated his undershirt and expanded to soak into his dress shirt. The hands that were on him were unbearably tight and constricting. 

He began to struggle irrepressibly as his body rebelled against the new drug that had been administered. The hands were now vise-like and bodies were added to the mix and he thought he would die from the confines and the heat that surrounded him. 

“Watch his neck!” he heard a woman’s voice exclaim while he continued to struggle against the oppressive mass that was holding him down.

He couldn’t see any detail, all he could make out were large shapes in his vision that swarmed and pinned him down until he couldn’t stand it any longer. 

“Help…” he gasped as his body began to give out from his struggling. “Please…” 

“I think he’s had enough time, you can get off him now.” There was the voice again, a woman’s voice that he didn’t recognize yet still seemed familiar.

Harold didn’t know how long he’d struggled. It could have been seconds or it could have been hours; all he knew now was pain and exhaustion as the bulk of weight receded and he could finally take a deep breath. 

He couldn’t find the strength or the will to sit himself up properly in the chair as he slowly regained his senses and remembered where he was… and who had him.

“Help him up, boys,” Kara ordered and once again Harold had hands on him, pulling him to sit upright. As much as it hurt him to be handled, he was resolved to stay as quiet as he could through the pain that ran through his hypersensitive body. But he couldn’t forestall the little gasps and huffs of air that escaped from his mouth from any and all movement.

“I’m sorry Harold but the security measures you have on your phone are just too damn good so I had to help you come around a bit sooner than I would have otherwise.” She picked his glasses up from her chair and sat down, “you understand I hope?”

Harold kept silent, only squinting at her from his chair.

“Boys, go back to your game,” she ordered.

Harold watched the large shapes move off into the distance until they lost all definition.

“Oh, once again I apologize, how rude of me.” Kara stood up again and slipped his glasses back on his face. “There now… back to business.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things start to heat up.

“Believe it or not Harold… I am very sorry to have to do this to you.” Harold wasn't convinced as Kara sat back into her chair and watched him with a smirk while she casually waved his phone around in the air. “I really did mean to give you some time to be blissfully unaware and pain-free before the hammer came down. But as I’m sure John has told you… I don’t do waiting well,” she smiled at him and watched him intently as he blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision and get his thinking back in order.

Harold, trembling from the drugs running through his system, sore and pained and clothing soaked with sweat, came back to his senses sluggishly. “I… I don’t know what… what you think… you’ll get from me,” he stammered ineffectually. 

As he sat there he felt as though lava was running through his veins but his body shook as though he were freezing. But even above all of the physical and mental torment his mind was screaming at him that both he and John were in deep trouble if she was to be able to get any information out of him. 

“It’s not what I think I’ll get from you; it’s what I know I’ll get from John, through you,” she stated absolutely and continued to smile at him like a predator. “What I’d like from you right now is so simple Harold.” The soft expression turned hard on her face as she leaned forward in her chair.

“I want you to contact John.” She tossed his phone at him across the short distance between them and Harold instinctively tried to catch it. He was cruelly punished with a stab to his neck as he fumbled the catch and it fell to the floor in front of his feet.

His trembling hands reflexively reached up to his aching neck and tears of pain sprang to his eyes as he rode out the piercing sensation breathlessly.

Kara only watched on with detached annoyance as she picked up the phone and set it on his lap. She sat back in her chair once again while he slowly got his breath back. 

He had a horribly painful headache on top of everything else now; he assumed that it was most likely a side effect of one of the drugs she had administered and it was hard to hold his eyelids open now without feeling a constant sharp twinge in them both. The pain was akin to the worst migraine he'd ever had in his life and he wanted nothing more than to be able to lie on a bed in complete darkness and quiet... if only.

“I’ll only tell you once more Harold… I want you to call him,” she ordered heatedly. Harold could tell her patience was coming to an end and he didn’t know what to expect from her next... all he knew for certain was that whatever it was would mean more pain for him in one form or another.

The psychotic woman wanted John to do something for her that would surely be the end of who knows how many lives. He had already made up his mind that he would die before he aided her in contacting John. 

He had never been more relieved that his proclivity and paranoia had spilled over into all of his electronic security measures than he was right now as she looked at the phone in his lap. 

It would be practically impossible for Kara, or anyone else, to break into the precautionary encrypted firewalls he installed and to breach any of his phones information. 

Unless… 

Harold’s semi-coherent brain reminded him at how adept Root was with hacking skills. Their former opponent now turned colleague was exceedingly frustrating to deal with on a personal level but Harold couldn’t deny the woman had certain unique talents that only he could relate to. 

Not all of them detrimental and life-threatening thankfully he reminded himself, and if anyone could possibly break into Harold’s phone and surmount the added security he installed, she would be the one to do it. 

Root was the only hope he held out for himself. She could track the phone using its unique NIC number and John could then find him through that, using it as a beacon. 

There weren’t a lot of people that were aware of this technique and Harold was grateful that he had informed John of the general idea of it early on. 

But there was a problem. Harold hadn’t informed John of the new information relating to his current phone. It would have been relatively simple to locate him if he had. 

Neglecting to give John the updated NIC number would result in wasted time; time that he wasn’t sure he had. It would now be very difficult to break into the device. 

He found himself feeling irresponsible and he chastised himself for not keeping his partner up to date on what he was currently using. His neurotic tendency to own the very latest technologically advanced communications before anyone else could acquire them first may very well come back to bite him.

His phone was useless to Kara for her intended purpose and that was that. He knew that she would end up killing him in the long run anyway and so be it. 

She wouldn’t get to John through him. He was confident that Root could track it but now the question became… how long would it take her and would they find him before Kara lost all patience with him and finally did away with him in some horrific manner he didn't even want to contemplate. 

Harold was grateful for one other thing at least… somehow Kara hadn’t known where their base of operations was. She had been mere steps from the entrance to their secret lair and had been absolutely clueless about it. If she had known, there would be no reason for her to be so upset by not being able to reach John through his phone. 

She could have just sought John out in person and demanded what she wanted from him there and Harold knew beyond any doubt that his partner would do what he was told to do to save his life. Harold couldn’t allow it to come to that no matter what. He would not be party to Kara’s plans… even if it meant the end of his own life.

“Harold, there will be no relief for you as long as you refuse to cooperate with me… you do realize that don’t you?” Kara was getting highly agitated now at his lack of response and he half expected another injection of some kind but instead, she leaned forward in her chair and shockingly demanded something from him that he found he may not be able to refuse.

#

John paced impatiently around the upper floor of the library until he was interrupted from his agitated state by Bear's whimper of concern and anxiousness. He sat down in Harold’s chair and called the dog to him. Bear trotted over from his doggie bed and laid his head on John’s thigh, whimpering.

“It’s alright boy, we’ll get him back.” John looked at his watch. It had been five hours without a word and he was getting increasingly concerned and restless. She should have made contact by now.

Stanton had intimate knowledge of him and obviously had to have at least some knowledge of Harold as well, and any amount was too much; it made her a far more dangerous interrogator than a stranger would be. Kara was nothing if not thorough in collecting what information she needed to bring her mark to their knees, and in this case Harold was the key to John’s cooperation and they both knew it.

John knew that Harold would be stubborn and determined not to give her anything; nothing which might get her close to John and it left an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach the longer time passed without so much as a text. Then like a sledgehammer it hit him. The NIC number to Harold’s phone! How could he have forgotten that?

John’s phone alerted, immediately breaking him from his thoughts and his heart jumped to his throat. 

He looked at the caller ID, it was only Shaw checking back in with him he assumed. John answered irritably, “Shaw don’t tie up the line… get Root on tracing Harold’s NIC number right away; I should have thought of it by now! I’m still waiting for her to contact me.”

“Whoa, hold on there, genius. She’s been on it and we have a location.” Shaw’s voice had never been more welcomed than it had been in that moment.

“I love you!” John exclaimed and stood up excitedly, “Where is he?”

“Uhmmm… I’m going to give you a pass on the first part because this is a dire situation and all… but anyway, they’re in an upscale hotel on the outskirts of town.” she replied, “and you can pay me back later with a steak at Delmonico’s after we rescue Harold and kick Stanton’s ass,” she added.

“I’ll buy for Root but you’re on your own. I’m on my way to your location now. I assume that you have everything we’ll need?” 

Shaw snickered annoyed at such an obvious question. “My arsenal puts yours to shame John; I have it covered. Lionel’s been checking into the layout of the building. It should be relatively easy to surprise her going in."

“No Shaw, she would expect it and have her people staking out the floor, if not the entire building. I’m the one she wants. I’ll talk to her and find out what her intentions are while the rest of you stand by and wait for my instructions.” 

“You sure about that?” she asked arguably. They all knew John knew his stuff but they also knew that when it came to Harold... his decisions could be a bit reckless with his own welfare if it meant Harold’s safety.

“I’m sure,” he answered assuredly. “Now send me the access number to Harold’s phone and I’ll fill you in when I get some answers from her on the way to your place. Get the weapons in order for a full-scale mission… Harold’s not going to be in her possession for much longer.”

“Alright then, we’ll see you at my place in about thirty minutes.”

“I’ll be there in twenty,” he replied confidently.

“Don’t get your dumb ass killed in a car crash before you get here John; you won’t do Finch any good dead,” she said irritably and hung up before he could reply.

John’s text alert had the attachment Root sent to connect to Harold’s phone. He looked at it briefly, took a deep breath and made the call.

He looked down at Bear who was hyped up and ready to go. “I’m sorry buddy but you’ll have to sit this one out.” Bear looked dejected and John rubbed his ears, “Next time… I promise.”

The phone rang once, twice, and just before the third ring he heard Kara’s sickeningly sweet and obviously fake voice answer, “Hey there lover, miss me?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a small chapter intended to re-introduce this story after a relatively long absence. I hope it's enjoyable. Please feel free to leave a comment, it would be appreciated very much!

“Kara, so help me... if you’ve…” John tried to hide the panic clearly evident in the threat he was going to make, but knew he’d done a piss poor job of it when Kara cut him off decisively.

“Now that’s no way to begin John,” she chastised him nauseatingly, making him want to throttle her.

“Especially after so long. Didn’t you miss me?” she mocked him again dismissively, remembering just how to push his buttons.

She was going to enjoy this, “Now why don’t you take a breath or two and I’ll be happy to keep our mutual friend here entertained some more while you take whatever time you need to calm yourself down.” She grinned and let her enjoyment inflect in her tone, “He’s just adorable John. How did you ever manage to meet him…? No wait, don’t answer that. I’m going to enjoy getting that information out of him personally.”

“Kara, listen…” John tried but she cut him off again before he had a chance to say anything more.

He was trying not to fixate on her choice of words, ‘keeping our mutual friend entertained some _more’_... he knew that could mean a number of things for Harold. None of which were pleasant.

“Take whatever time you need and we can try again, alright?” She disconnected the line and John was thrown for a loop.

He stood there for a minute staring at the phone, trying to figure out what just happened.

He then headed for the stairs and quickly descended, heading to Shaw’s apartment. It infuriated him that he hadn’t even had a conversation with his former partner yet and she already had him flustered.

The fact that he let her get the better of him right off the bat… and that she knew she’d had that effect on him and was relishing it, irritated him beyond words.

As much as John hated to admit it, Kara was right. He needed to compose himself before he called her back.

He must be losing his touch; he had to concede that his affection and friendship for Harold had cost him the first round with Kara... he wouldn’t let it cost him again.

He couldn’t let his emotions get in the way of saving his partner’s life. He had some hard thinking to do, and quick. The longer she was in control, the more difficult it was going to be getting Finch back in one piece.

Kara was as dangerous as they come; he couldn’t screw it up a second time.

#

“If you don’t comply, Harold…” Kara let the start of the demand hang in the air for a few seconds, while Harold blinked and tried to shake himself from the funk is his head. Then she continued, “If you don’t do as I say… I will make you do something that you won’t be able to live with.” She settled back in her chair again comfortably while Harold tried to catch up and comprehend her words through the perpetual haze that was still fogging his drug-addled brain.

“I will arrange for our friend John to be killed outright… and I will make you perform the deed yourself.”

Harold sobered up at the outrageous assertion and couldn’t help but laugh.

The discomfort that the simple gesture caused made him wince and he again felt the sweat dripping down his neck and back; he was burning up for some reason.

“You think you can force me to kill my partner?” he grinned at her pointedly in a gesture of defiance.

He was becoming tired of this whole scenario being strictly one-sided and with no regard for his own welfare, he went further and chided her sarcastically.

“Honestly, Miss Stanton, for a moment I thought you had something genuine to threaten me with.”

Kara changed tactics mid-stride; she wasn’t in the mood for games anymore. This little nerd was beginning to become tiresome, what she wanted from John could wait a little longer.

She grinned back at him wickedly. “You know, Harold… you’re a lot more resilient than you look. I have to give you credit,” she leaned over him, getting too close, unnerving him. “I’ve been watching you for some time now. I’ve cataloged your obvious injuries and it seems to me that you’re intimately familiar with physical pain.” She stood upright again and continued her congenial break down of him, “but now as you can plainly tell… I’m introducing you to the psychological spectrum of pain.”

 

Kara smiled wide, open, and disturbingly as she turned and walked around him and went to the dreaded table behind his chair.

The cool breeze that wafted by him as her body circulated the air around his chair made Harold shudder with chills and fearful anticipation.

“You see, Harold,” Kara walked back around and stood in front of him, now holding a syringe and a vial of something yellow and worrying and Harold’s heart rate immediately picked up.

He could hear the rush of blood flowing rapidly in his ears. “I have many drugs at my disposal and they all have their own unique little qualities.” She grinned at him again.

Harold knew he couldn’t fight it, and took a deep breath. There would be no point in delaying the inevitable, all he would manage to do if he were to resist is to compound his existing injuries. He swallowed hard as she leaned down and squeezed his bicep. He looked away as the needle found its mark and Kara depressed the terrifying new drug directly into his vein.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated, feel free to let me know how it's going. Thanks to everyone bothering to read this thing!

“Now Harold… my enigmatic new friend,” Kara smiled at him deliberately, nauseatingly sweet and obviously fake as she pulled the needle out of the crook of his red and puffy arm. 

She stood up in front of him, looking down at him. She was highly entertained as he, oh so slowly, incrementally began to slump over in his chair. 

Mild amusement played on her face, “This is just a paralytic for right now, but don’t you worry, the good stuff comes in just a minute or two.” Kara’s grin grew into a devious smile. 

She wasn’t going to put up with any more snide remarks from the little dweeb and looked forward to her plans for John and what more she had in store for Harold. 

“You know, it’s a damn shame John isn’t here to enjoy our time together,” she remarked sarcastically and then suddenly thought of something that would be a humorous ploy for her and a horrible one for John. 

 

She was going to enjoy every unending second of her underhanded plan for John and his magnanimous employer. “Maybe we can give him a little taste of what’s happening, let him see that if he cares anything for your welfare he’d better listen closely and do exactly as I say.” She smiled again as Harold was completely unable to respond, “Of course, if you have any objections or suggestions even, let’s hear them.”

Harold was teetering just on the edge of having a full-blown panic attack as the drug instantly seemed to have taken effect, sending a warm prickling sensation through his body. 

 

He found that he couldn’t speak, and ostensibly had no control over his motor functions or equilibrium as his body continued to slant to one side slowly… leaning more and more until his head stopped his sideways momentum to rest against the arm of the plush chair. 

He tried desperately to calm himself as his mind raced with thoughts of John and what Kara had in store for him.

He knew John too well to hope that he would put his own welfare above Harold’s and that fact made him terribly unhappy. John would most likely get himself injured or killed rescuing him. It was unbearable to contemplate.

A persistent rushing noise began to intensify in its volume and pitch just on the periphery of his hearing and became almost painful. He was sure his heart might give out at any moment, as he could palpably feel his blood pressure began to spike to a precarious degree.

There was absolutely nothing he could do. He was at a lunatic’s mercy and he truly believed that he wouldn’t make it out of her grasp alive. Not at this rate anyway, and he could only hope that John wouldn’t fall under her heel and perish as well.

Kara called across the expansive room for her men. “Boys, I’m going to need you for this.” They put their cards down and looked at each other for a split second, then immediately got up to go stand behind and to either side of Harold’s chair.

“Sit him up.” They did as they were told without pause or question. 

Kara was a hardass and they all knew it. They had all seen it firsthand having worked for her in the past but she seemed to have changed since then… and not for the better.

Every one of them now thought she’d gone off her rocker by the display of unbalanced temper she seemed to be prone to now. 

She had never really had much in the way of patience with the average Joe but now her fuse was practically nonexistent. 

Kara had been one of the most well respected and feared ops in the agency. 

Her reputation had been impeccable and no one questioned her resolve and determination to get the job done when it came to getting Intel from her marks. 

But now they could all see that something had changed in her, and not one of them was stupid enough to go against her orders. 

If she demanded any one of them to be killed by another, it would be done without question. If it wasn’t, she would personally do the deed and then kill the guy who hadn’t gone through with her command in the first place.

“Andrews, I want you to hold his arms. Not that I’m expecting he’ll be using them but you never know… sometimes one of the side-effects from the hallucinogen can be muscle spasms,” she smiled and leaned down to look Harold in the eye as they roughly handled him to sit upright. 

All Harold could do was look back into her cold eyes without a word or sound other than the heavy and ragged breathing his lungs forced through his mouth instinctively.

“Johnson, I want you to zip tie his ankles.” She looked up at the burliest of the three and smiled, “and I want you to go get my bag off the bed and bring it to me.” 

“Got it.” The man called Allen replied and hurried off.

Harold sat there with a hundred things going through his mind.

First and most importantly, he prayed that John could keep his head on straight and not act on impulse. He and Harold had become not only partners over the course of their time together, but had become very good friends much to his surprise. 

Harold knew intuitively that John would put himself in harm’s way to try and save him, and he desperately hated that inevitability. 

They had talked about it numerous times before. Harold wanted, no he needed, John to be the one to carry on their mission… their purpose. 

He wasn’t getting any younger and his health and most importantly, his mobility, was becoming questionable at times. 

He’d always had the feeling that he wouldn’t live long. Something inside him had always told him he would die at a relatively young age, and he’d always had good instincts.

John was the most logical one to continue their crusade. But Harold also knew that John’s protective nature would get in the way, regardless of what he himself thought on the matter. 

All he could hope for at this point was that John would pool their resources and not go off halfcocked, getting himself killed in the process. 

He had to believe that his partner would be just as professional and detailed in this case as he’d always been. The alternative was too painful to consider.

Kara’s man Allen came back with a small black duffle bag and the other men quickly did as they had been told. 

Andrews pulled his arms behind him with more force than was necessary, causing a sharp twinge to race up his spine and lanced to stab him in the back of the head.

The other man zip-tied his ankles much tighter than he needed to, sending a stabbing pain into his hip joint.

But he couldn’t make much of a sound and there was nothing he could physically do to protest the violent acts. He was as helpless as a baby bird as they manhandled him with no regard for any of his existing injuries.

“Now come on you two. You don’t have to be so rough with our new friend.” She leaned towards him and grinned, “Sorry about that Harold. They don’t seem to know their own strength.” 

All he could do was stare as she took a recording device from her bag and handed it over to Allen. “When I give you the word, I want you to hit record…” she instructed her man, then turned to Harold. “This is for my own personal enjoyment you see.” she began, amused with herself, “I like to keep a journal of a sort for my own entertainment later.”

Harold knew she was unstable and this obscene act was just another reminder of just how crazy she had become.

As if right on cue, Harold’s phone vibrated in Kara’s hand. 

“It’s uncanny just how timely John is.” she grinned cheekily, “He’s going to love this…”

She continued to let it buzz while she double checked the dose of hallucinogen in the next syringe she held in her other hand. 

Then she answered the phone and put it on speaker, “You’re right on time John,” she taunted and turned the skype app on and handed it over to Johnson to record her actions. “Okay Allen, you ready? Let’s begin.”

“Kara… stop! Don’t do this!” John pleaded helplessly as he watched her stick the needle into Harold’s arm and injected the contents swiftly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poor boys...

“Kara!” John exclaimed. “What have you given him!?”

“Relax John; it’s only 60 milligrams of bufotenin.” Kara grinned into the camera while John reacted just as she had hoped.

“Jesus Christ, Kara! You could kill him giving him that much!” John was almost out of his mind now with worry. He fully remembered that particular drug and what the hallucinogen could do to a person and had firsthand knowledge of its potential effects.

“John, calm down. I’m going to be right here to keep an eye on him. If I remember correctly, the paralytic I gave him immediately before that will help counter-act any respiratory issues that might come up.” She smiled at John’s panicked and infuriated face on the phone, “And we all know CPR if something unforeseen should happen, don’t we boys?” she announced happily, entertained by it all.

“Kara… you didn’t… please tell me you’re screwing with me. You didn’t really give him a paralytic, did you? Please tell me you didn’t.”

Part of the training they had to undergo as CIA operatives was learning about different types of drugs available to them, should they need to get information out of someone without having to get physical with them, and to know what the potential side effects of said drugs might be.

It had also been standard operating procedure for new agents to be familiar with the effects of the drugs they sometimes used by experiencing them firsthand. Psychotropic drugs and hallucinogens were no joke and Harold was in deep trouble now.

John vividly remembered his personal experience with the particular drug Kara had just injected into his partner’s bloodstream and felt the panic rise in him again.

In small doses, such as he had been given, the drug bufotenin is relatively mild in its effects and could be a somewhat pleasurable experience, but in large doses such as she had just given to Harold, the drug is one of the most powerful and dangerous drugs out there and more often than not, the experience can be terrifying both mentally and physically.

The effect in that large a dose was so unpredictable, John knew that Harold was on very thin ice as far as coming out of it intact and undamaged. Heart attacks were known to have happened as well as pulmonary issues. Harold was now in potentially grave danger.

One of John’s biggest fears was the mixture of drugs Kara had given his partner. A paralytic that can screw around with a body’s natural instinct to breathe, on top of a hallucinogen that can hinder respiratory function, was a huge risk to subject Harold to. On top of everything else, John knew that Harold was on a number of medications already and the interactions with those added in was alarming.

John watched on, helplessly, as Kara looked down at Harold’s silent, unmoving form. John could see that his eyes were open and for a moment, he was terrified that he might already be dead… he was so motionless… so very quiet and still.

Kara tapped her lips with her fingertip absently, lost in thought, “Hmm. You know you may be right John, now that I think about it… I might have given him too much.”

John was speechless and ready to explode in frustration as he watched her lean down and put two fingers against Harold’s throat, checking for a pulse.

In his mind John was screaming, his ears were ringing as his blood pressure skyrocketed _. “Please God... if you do exist please show me now, let him be alive… please, please.”_ He repeated again and again in his head. It may have only been two seconds but it felt like hours before Kara stood up again and turned towards the camera to look John in the face.

“You’re in luck; he’s still breathing,” she teased him infuriatingly. “Although I’m a little surprised it’s taking so long to get some kind of reaction out of your little friend. I hope I haven’t accidently put him catatonic with all my shenanigans.” She laughed.

“Kara…” John wanted nothing more than to have his hands around her neck and slowly squeeze the life out of her, but he had to get down to business and save Harold from more torture or worse… “What do you want from me?”

“I’m so glad you asked, John,” she started to explain but before she could continue a low guttural sound emanated from the chair behind her halting her demand.

“Oh, look at that. He’s finally decided to join us after all.” she grinned knowingly and motioned for her men to stand on either side of Harold, while Allen continued to film the proceedings with Kara’s camera in one hand and Harold’s phone in the other.

John didn’t know what to do as he watched her lean over his partner and observe him. He was being forced to watch his gentle partner being tortured without a damn thing he could do about it.

If he hadn’t already pulled off the side of the road when he saw Kara begin to torture Harold, he surely would have wrecked the car by now.

“Hello, Harold. Are you in there?” she asked Finch teasingly. “Did you have something to add to the conversation?”

Harold didn’t indicate that he’d heard a word since he’d been injected with the contents of the last syringe. He just sat there in a stupor, staring into the space straight ahead of him while the sound coming from somewhere deep in his chest continued.

“I think the next step is in order. What do you think, John? Is he ready?” Kara looked toward his image on the phone and grinned.

“No, Kara! Don’t you touch him!” John was livid, and he couldn’t stand it. He knew what she had in mind and it wasn’t going to be pleasant for Harold in the least.

“Now, John. I want my new friend to get the most out of his experience, and you know what that means,” Kara remarked satirically.

“Kara, damn you! You’ve done enough!”

“Oh, I’ve only scratched the surface… partner,” she mocked John again. “Get over here, Allen. I want John to have a close-up view and make sure you get a good shot for my enjoyment later,” she teased and leaned forward to slowly run her hand over Harold’s cheek, caressing his face with a gentle touch.

As her hand made contact with Harold’s skin, he frowned as his brows creased and his pupil’s constricted immediately into pinpoints. Then the sound that came from his throat increased in volume and pitch.

“Stop touching him! Kara, stop please!” John pleaded with her knowing and understanding that what she was doing to his partner was excruciating for him.

To Harold, with that much bufotenin coursing through his bloodstream, every inch of his skin was hypersensitive. Even the pressure of the air around him would be uncomfortable and feel like a weight against his body and her hand on his face would be an unbearable burning heaviness on his skin.

Even though Harold couldn’t communicate verbally, the pain and anguish he was experiencing was undeniable. His eyes and expression painted a horrific picture of his inner turmoil. His flesh felt as if it was on fire as Kara continued to stroke his face unrelentingly and he groaned uncontrollably until the relatively low sound turned to a high pitched wail as the pain intensified.

Every one of Kara’s men were secretly sympathetic towards Harold as they too knew the effects of the drug and were practically forced to watch the uncomfortable situation playing out in front of them.

The sounds of his partner’s distress were increasing along with John’s rage and he couldn’t stand it anymore, “Stop now, Kara or I won’t even hear your demands. I’ll just find you and kill you without any discussion! Don’t fuck with me!”

Kara stood up and shook her head, “What a spoilsport you are, John. He’s just getting started on his journey and I’d like to help him along the way.” She grinned wickedly at John again and he decided right then and there that she was going to die by his hand.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Finch is tripping...

“Help…” Harold was only just able to whisper pleadingly. “Please… help… please…please.”  
In his mind, he was living Armageddon. _He was in hell as his skin bubbled and cracked. The burning heat and pain that encompassed him entirely was overwhelming as he ran through and tried to dodge, fiery meteors that were falling all around him, impacting the earth and sending blazing shrapnel flying into the air._

Kara leaned over him again and grinned when she saw the vacant, faraway look in his eyes that indicated terror and pain. “Boy, is he out of it,” she chuckled callously, watching Harold’s pupils react wildly to whatever nightmare that was playing in his head.

“Kara!” John shouted, “Tell me what I have to do to stop this!”

“Well, unfortunately John, I think it’s a little too late. Harold here is just going to have to ride it out 'til the end.” She heartlessly waved her hand in front of Harold’s face and delighted in seeing his pupils expand and contract automatically.

“No… please…no…” Harold murmured anxiously. _The projectiles that dropped from the sky began to transform. The meteor’s that had been falling from the heavens began to morph into severed limbs, body parts, blood raining on him and covering him in a horrific shade of crimson._

Although Harold could not move his body outwardly, inside his mind he was running and falling down, exhausted and struggling to move, frantically trying to get away from the deluge of carnage still plummeting from the sky. _The horrific debris was now covering the ground so that there wasn’t a square foot of soil left that did not have some body part or another laying upon it._

_The blood sodden earth glistened here and there in the semi-obstructed light that peeked from the black clouds above. There was a shelter just ahead of him. It wasn’t much, it had no walls to speak of but it had a roof of sorts that might serve to protect him from the morbid fragments that still fell from the sky relentlessly._

_He found himself weeping as he unintentionally stepped on and tripped over severed heads and limbs._

_He stumbled suddenly, and when he was able to lift his head to look up from the gore covered ground he now lay splayed out on, he saw his worst nightmare staring back at him. John’s face, eyes open, mouth agape without his body… The scene presented such a shock and horror to his eyes he found that he couldn’t take a breath._

Harold began to hyperventilate. His mind betraying his body's natural instincts and John found himself at his wits end. “Help him! Help him, god dammit; he can’t breathe!”

Kara turned to her man Andrews and ordered, “Bring me the bag… now!”

The man quickly did as he was told and Kara pulled out a small canister of something and quickly affixed a mask to Harold’s face. “Yeah, I guess that was kind of a rookie mistake on my part,” she remarked casually, “I should have had this on hand but he should be alright in a minute or two.” She turned back to look at John and grinned, unconcerned… “So just relax, John, he’ll live… for now.” she added for good measure.

 

“Kara! I’m warning you!” John spat venomously as he was made to listen and to watch the struggle that his partner was undergoing… wheezing and fighting to breathe, perpetual pain etched into his horrified face.

Kara glared at him and the grin that was on her face turned to rage. “Are you kidding me!?” she countered indignantly. “Don’t you dare threaten me, Reese,” she retorted spitefully. “Like you’ve already said, I hold all the cards so don’t push your luck.”

John bit his tongue and focused on Harold. He still wasn’t breathing right and his body’s attempts to take in air on his own were weak at best. Every inch of exposed flesh on Harold’s traumatized body was turning redder by the second as oxygen was deprived from his bloodstream. His face, arms and neck stood out in stark relief from the powder blue dress shirt he was wearing and John was almost frantic.

“Kara, you’ve got to get him breathing right…” John placated her as calmly as he could, “he needs help immediately… please.” It killed him to beg but he had no choice. Harold was in a life or death situation and needed to get oxygen into his system before the effects became irreversible, possibly even killing him.

“Just for you, John,” she replied sweetly. “Andrews, Johnson, get on either side of him and pick him up under his arms,” she demanded.

That was enough. The physical sensation put on him from being man-handled and raised from his chair was agony as his senses were assaulted yet again.

 _He felt himself beginning to float, while the fiery brands against his skin burned into his flesh unbearably. He truly believed he would die at any moment from the assault to his body, “_ Please… no… no, _”_ he continued to mutter mechanically, pleading to be released from this perpetual hell he was existing in.

_He managed to pick himself up and staggered his way over dismembered body parts to the make-shift shelter, clawing and dragging his exhausted, blood covered body beneath the canopy._

_He shut his eyes tightly, attempting to block out the images of absolute and unending desolation of the world he once knew._

_But the visions of human remains, and John’s horrifically anguished expression of death would forever be scorched into his memory._

“Please… no… no…” he gasped unceasingly. His entire body was now completely covered in sweat. Harold’s soft, fine hair, customarily perpendicular, was now drenched and plastered to his head, dripping salty beads of perspiration, soaking into his already saturated under shirt as well as his costly button down. “Please…”

“Alright, let him down,” Kara ordered and her men lowered Harold back into the armchair warily.

Kara leaned over him to again observe his respiration and looked into his engrossed, terrified eyes. “He’s breathing alright again, so don’t fret John. He should be alright.” She stood up straight and looked at John through the phone, smirking. “But he’s still got a ways to go before we’ll be able to get anything resembling speech again.”

She laughed heartlessly and took the mask off of Harold’s face and his more natural pallor gradually began to come back as his breathing finally started to slow.

John breathed a momentary sigh of relief.

As Kara was preoccupied with his partner, John sent a text from a burner phone he had gotten into the habit of carrying, just in case. He informed Shaw and the team to meet him down the street from the location Kara was held up torturing Harold in and wait for further instructions.

There was no time to lose; he couldn’t meet them at Shaw’s place to go over plans… they had to act immediately.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not getting any better yet for the poor guys. Kara is in complete control and loving it.

“Now then,” Kara announced enthusiastically. “Down to business.” 

He wanted to strangle her. Kara’s maniacal mood swings were unpredictable to say the least. Her disposition could turn on a dime and that fact was extremely dangerous for everyone involved… John’s trepidation was ramping up.

“I’m going to need you to meet us… alone.” She took the phone from her man Allan’s hand and looked into John’s face grimly. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what’s going to happen to your friend if you don’t follow my instructions to the letter, do I John?” She smirked callously.

“No, no I understand completely, Kara. You don’t have to do anything more, you’ve proven your point. I get it… just tell me where you are and I’ll be there as fast as I can.” John did his best to play off the fact that he knew exactly where she was... not to mention that he had a good idea of how many men she had and that he had his own team already in route. “I’ll be there as soon as you say the word,” he promised.

Kara smiled into the phone ruthlessly, “Oh, you’re not meeting us here John…” she teased, “I’m not that stupid. I know damn well you’ve most likely already traced my location and probably have a team on the way to surprise us.”

John’s heart sank. “No, I…” he spluttered, “I don’t have any idea where you…”

“John shut up and cut the crap,” Kara interrupted him. “As soon as Harold can move again on his own, we’re out of here.” She ginned at his oblivious partner and John knew instantly she wasn’t done toying with him.

John watched on in dread as she leaned over Harold so that her cheek was almost touching his, directing the camera so that it held them both in the frame. 

She smiled broadly as if they were a couple taking a selfie together. John’s stomach churned. He was disgusted by her uncouth display of familiarity towards his drugged partner. “He’s so cute John…”

“Kara please… just leave him alone. I’m asking you to stop mocking him. You know he’s completely out of it. It’s not necessary to do any of this, so please stop.” John wasn’t above begging at this point. 

He could see the blank look in Harold’s eyes and the expression on his face that told him that he was totally and completely removed from what was happening to him and around him. John could only hope that his partner wasn’t psychologically absent for good.

Kara smiled spitefully, then turned her head and kissed Harold on the cheek. John took a deep breath and clamped his teeth together to prevent himself from going off on her.

“I know you must think you’ve got some control here John but you should realize, I intend on using your friend for as long as it takes to get what I want.” 

Harold made no outside indication that he had any idea what was happening and he continued to stare off into the space in front of him.

John could feel his adrenaline spike as his brain tried to catch up with the painful truth that he truly had no control whatsoever in this volatile situation. 

“I’ve already agreed to do what you want me to do, why are you persisting with this mockery?” John asked vehemently. His former partner was a lunatic, there was no doubt in his mind now. “Harold has done nothing to you, why won’t you just leave him alone!”

Kara’s sadistic streak had only gotten worse after the attempt on her life in Ordos and he was scared to death that Harold would fall victim to her insanity... whether he did as she ordered him to do or not.

“Just a little reminder… some reinforcement so that you don’t ever forget that your friend is in a perilous predicament and that I can and will do whatever I want with him whether you like it or not. That’s all…”

Kara grinned again and began to unbutton Harold’s dress shirt. “The poor man is burning up.” She announced and continued divesting him from the sweat soaked garment. “Andrews help me get this off of him.”

“Please Kara…” John was starting to lose it again as he watched her work on the buttons of his insensible partner’s shirt. 

John had to try and get her to stop. Even if it was no longer painful for him to be touched, Harold would be mortified to find out that she had undressed him, had uncovered the most private thing about him.

His scars were guarded and it would humiliate him for anyone to see them. John knew that once Kara got sight of them, she would exploit the knowledge of their existence for everything she could get.

“Oh relax, John. I’m just helping him out of his wet clothes,” she remarked casually as she stood over him. “Johnson, go get the robe out of the master bath.”

Kara’s encroaching proximity and her blatant familiarity with his intensely reserved partner was making John’s inability to help Harold feel all the worse and all he could do was wait as she continued to show off her power to him without mercy.

John’s stomach twisted at the sight of her hands on Harold… touching him. He wanted to take her apart piece by piece, but all he could do was watch, powerless to act while she did whatever the hell she wanted to him as he sat there transfixed and motionless. 

For a split second, John was glad that Harold was too out of it mentally to realize what she was doing to him, and thankfully he didn’t seem to feel anything anymore. 

The potent drug's capacity to enhance outside stimuli seemed to have run its course and decreased in its intensity. The only indication from her unsolicited man-handling and the kiss to Harold’s cheek was a momentary, flinch in his expression. 

Other than that, his partner just sat there, staring off into space… seemingly wholly unaware of anything being done to him. 

John could only imagine what horror's were happening in Harold's head right now and none of it was good.

#

Harold lay under the meager pitched shelter curled into himself. His arms were slung over his eyes and ears as he wept, trying to block out the sight and sounds of the gory deluge that continued to fall around him. 

He prayed that the thin covering that was serving as a roof was going to hold and not fall in on him and bury him under the nightmarish shower of bloody body parts and limbs.

He couldn’t imagine what he must have done to put himself in this current petrifying circumstance. Why was he being punished like this? What could he have possibly done that would have caused this devastating end to his entire world and all of humanity? 

It had to be the hubris and complacency in building The Machine that garnered him this place in hell… this day of reckoning where everyone he held dear had been cruelly and violently slaughtered… wiped off the face of the earth in the most horrific way imaginable.

It got quieter and he raised his head and hesitantly looked around him in complete terror when the muffled thuds and sounds of severed body parts impacting the earth slowed down and seemed to finally stop.

What Harold saw before his traumatized eyes made him turn away in shock and retch violently.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harold is still mentally tripping through hell and John is at the end of his tether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some fairly graphic descriptions of scarring. I have taken artistic license in reference to the scars Harold might have obtained from the ferry bombing and subsequent aftermath. Also there is some dub/con because Harold is completely checked out mentally while his shirt is taken off and Kara touches him in a non sexual manner. That said... enjoy. Hehe

"Now here’s what’s going to happen, John...” Kara announced happily as she slipped Harold’s saturated dress shirt down his arms while her man Andrews had him pushed forward in the chair.

 

Allen dutifully continued to record the events as the garment came off. She stopped mid-sentence and John’s blood pressure spiked dangerously as he watched her taking in the scarring that was visible just under the neckline of Harold’s undershirt.

 

“Well, now that’s interesting,” she remarked absently and leaned over behind Harold and pulled the shirt away from the back of his neck so she could see more of what lay beneath. “I mean it’s plain for everyone to see that your boss here has been through something.” She stated casually, “But the aftermath of something major is under here… something violent.”

 

“Damn you, Kara!” John couldn’t control himself. She always did know how to push his buttons and some things never seemed to change. “Leave him alone! Don’t touch him!” he spat at her venomously.

 

“Relax, John. I’m not hurting him for Christ sake!” she retorted angrily.

 

Johnson returned with the monogrammed hotel bathrobe and held onto it while she got busy.

 

The other two men now stood around Harold too, quietly gawking. Kara had taken a pair of scissors out from somewhere and cut Harold’s undershirt straight up the back and opened it up to reveal his pale, upper torso. He was completely unresponsive and pliable… and on display for all to see.

 

John’s heart clenched in his chest and a lump formed in his throat as they all stood and stared at his partner’s bare skin keenly.

 

Everyone in the room was absorbed in looking at the horribly scarred flesh of the man that sat obliviously and now, sideways in the chair.

 

John couldn’t talk and was ashamed of himself, but he couldn’t help looking as well. His own curiosity getting the better of him.

 

 

John had only imagined what his partner’s scars might look like one time. It was when they were working a case together out in the field and they had to change into uniforms. He had inadvertently gotten a glimpse of the top of Harold’s neck as he was buttoning up a dress shirt and saw the beginning of the scar from his neck surgery peeking out slightly from the top of his collar.

 

John knew then that Harold was extremely sensitive about the issue when he moved quickly to block John’s view as he finished dressing.

 

John was aware in an instant how uncomfortable just the mere glimpse he saw was for his partner and chose then to respect his ardent privacy and never let himself wonder about them again. 

 

John’s jaw had begun to ache from clenching his teeth together forcefully to prevent himself from screaming at Kara.

 

The bitch had taken her camera and started documenting Harold’s injuries up close and personal for her own sick amusement later.

 

As soon as humanly possible, he would take her camera and crush the hell out of it, erasing every sick shred of evidence that her private bounty of depravity contained.

 

How dare she even think she could get away with encroaching on Harold’s privacy for her own vile pleasure? John’s tally of Kara’s slights and mockeries of his partner was getting longer and as soon as possible, he planned to make her pay for each one... in blood.

 

“Well, John, all I can say is…” she began speaking distractedly and paused. She lightly ran her fingers over the surgically raised and ridged scar tissue that ran from the center of Harold’s upper spine to almost a quarter of the way down his back.

 

The shrapnel damage was obvious as well and covered the majority of the left upper and middle side of his disfigured body.

 

The evidence of pain and misery Harold would have suffered through for a very long time was palpable. The abundance of lighter and darker pink webbed scar tissue ran jagged, uneven lines and shapes over the majority of his skin. They stood out in striking detail on John’s HD phone screen and his heart ached for his partner.

 

John could hardly stand the thought of Harold having had to go through all that hell of physical torment alone. It made him sad and angry in equal measure.

 

The spectacle Kara was creating was disrespectful and wrong on so many levels. John felt sick and wanted to kill her on the spot. Damn her to hell, but he had to bite back his cries of hate and animosity that he felt for her right now. There was nothing he could do and it was killing him.

 

“It’s just too damn bad you weren’t around to protect your boss before all this happened,” Kara stated evenly and ran a hand over Harold’s back once more. She stood upright smiling into the camera at John sickeningly sweet and walked away from Harold.

 

“You boys get that robe on our friend here while John and I get down to business,” she ordered her men as she walked away.

 

John lost visual contact with his partner but could hear movement indicating that Kara’s men were efficiently following her orders. He panicked for a split second but quickly reeled it in. He was going to kill her slowly. There was not a question or doubt in his mind. The act might damn him to hell if it existed but he was going to enjoy every minute of it while it happened here on earth.

 

“This is what we’re going to do, John,” she began, breaking him out of his fantasy of revenge and retribution. “You’re going to meet us outside the city. I have a little place by the water just waiting for us… I think you’ll like it.” She went on eagerly, “And Harold can get a little rest too. I have a feeling he’s going to need a break pretty soon from his hallucinatory trip through wonderland… don’t you?” she asked absently, then continued quickly. “And before you say anything else about your cute little boss, I promise I won’t do anything else to him again before I see you.” She grinned maliciously then added, “as long as you don’t piss me off that is…”

 

John took a deep breath. Yes… there wasn’t a single doubt left in his mind. He was going to end her once and for all and he couldn’t wait for the opportunity.

 

#

Harold’s mind had been transported to yet another realm of the terrifying, ghastly dreamscape he found himself unwillingly bound to when he next opened his eyes.

 

He was now kneeling on weakened arms and legs. When he lifted his weary head, he found himself surrounded by yet another unimaginably disturbing and shocking scene.

 

Each surrealistic vision seemed to get progressively worse than the previous in its intensely morbid and brutally terrifying manifestation of bloodshed and carnage.

 

This time, every person that he’d ever known in his life it seemed, living or dead, were now hanging from ropes that were tied to massive limbs of an enormous ancient oak tree.

 

Some were still alive, though barely, their wrists tethered together and fastened above their heads as their tortured bodies swayed slightly in the searing breeze that traveled through the air bringing with it a sickening stench of human decay.

 

He shivered in stark opposition to the heat as his body fought off the need to retch again in repulsion.

 

Each branch of the massive decrepit tree in front of him hung low to the ground from the weight of the figures attached to them. Their naked feet dangled just inches above the rock-strewn ground that surrounded them. They all wore nothing but rags and bloody trails of gore ran down almost every visible inch of skin that was exposed on their flesh.

 

Harold tried not to look into the faces of the countless figures that hung moaning in misery and dying before his horrified eyes. He couldn’t for fear of seeing the most beloved people he knew. But now the sound of their combined wails and moans of suffering was too much, he had to end it… one way or another he had to end his own misery, he couldn’t go on anymore.

 

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and took a deep shuddering breath. The stench alone threatened to undo him then he swallowed hard and opened them once more.

 

For some reason it wasn’t a surprise to him at all when there, just a few feet away, was a very large butcher’s knife… and sitting right beside it, a pistol.

 

He knew now that he had only one more choice left to him in his wretched life.

 

Which one to use?


End file.
